I am walking on dangerous territory!

I have recently been struck with a dilemma.  Although my dilemma mainly focuses around My Tantalizing Greek (everything seems to these days) there is now an unexpected new character to add to the mix.  (This person, known as John in my past posts, will now have a new nickname; the Gringo Gentleman) This Gringo Gentleman surprised me two evenings ago.  I spent an evening out with him to celebrate his birthday, at first it was just us for a little while hanging at some bar downtown, then we drove over to another bar and his best friend met up with us.  He entranced me in conversation until 1:30 am.  That is the latest I have been out in my new town, I was pleasantly surprised.  I really enjoyed his company, as he did mine.  One thing that I have never liked and really turns me off from a person is when they are a smoker. Unfortunately, Gringo Gentleman is a smoker. I left the bar to go home and left him with his best friend.  On my drive home, reflecting on how much I actually enjoyed the night, I received a text message.

“I would quit smoking in a heartbeat if I knew I actually had a chance with you.”
– Gringo Gentleman

After telling him that I shouldn’t be the reason for him to quit and that he needs to do it because it will be better for his health he came back with…

“I want to but if I can’t get  a kiss cause I smoke then f*#! that shiz. I wanted to kiss you tonight… nothing crazy, just a pop to see :)”
– Gringo Gentleman

Color me flattered.  We spoke as the night went on, I found my self speaking to him the next day and into that evening as well.  We texted throughout the day even if we were in the same room at work. My heart still belongs to My Tantalizing Greek, but I can’t help but be intrigued by the Gringo Gentleman.  I guess it is right to say that I have a dilemma.  If things start to turn for the better with My Tantalizing Greek, no questions asked, I am his.  If things continue the way they are, or seem to get worse, I am going to walk away.  Things always seem to get complicated right before decision time comes around.  Why is that?  Maybe to make your decision more worth while, that way you know that the decision you made was the right one?  I haven’t really figured it out yet.  I am a strong believer in fate, things will turn out the way they are supposed to.  I just wish I knew what that is supposed to be.

I feel like this month is going to be a LONGGGGGG month.  I love to hear feedback on my writings and to know that other people enjoy reading these occurrences.

xo,

Chelsea Salem Elise

My Tantalizing Greek

Faithful readers and followers,

If you have been reading along with my posts of love and frustration I
am here to say that I have made a decision.  Although it is not a
final decision that ends the journey with My Tantalizing Greek, it is
a decision that may postpone any further action on my part.  I have
come to accept that he is unsure and scared of what may come if we
continue on with a relationship.  My Tantalizing Greek has issues when
it comes to peoples “pasts”.  He has a major role in my past, but
everything after him/before him recently is what he cannot get past.
There is only one part of my past that matters to me and it is him, he
has the only part that matters.  He realizes that he will never be
with a person that does not have a “past”, he has every part of me and
he knows it.  Although we would both be taking a step into unknown
territory we would be doing it together, which is all that I truly
care about.

I have come to the decision that My Tantalizing Greek needs to come to
his own decisions when it comes to us.  I will not force anything on
him, I will not tell him how I feel, or what it is I want.  He came to
me with a hope to rekindle what we once had, he came to me wanting to
be happy once again with me.  He made that decision and then scared
himself into thinking it was not the right choice.  Although I will be
constantly tempted to talk him and emotionally distracted by not
getting what I want from him, he does not need me to confuse his
decisions anymore.  I can only hope that my choices will help him come
to a faster and beneficial decision for me.  I have followed my heart
when it comes to him, and I have held on for what some people may say
is too long.  When it comes to matters of the heart, you move on when
your heart tells you to.  3 years and neither of us have moved on,
maybe now is not the time to rekindle our relationship, but maybe
someday will be the day. Only time will tell.

xo,

Chelsea Salem Elise

I’m scared, I know you are too.

This is my first post blog as myself, Chelsea.  Like everyone else in the world, I have relationship problems and that one person that I hope it will work out with.  We have gone back and forth between getting back together and moving on but have repeatedly come back to each other.  Neither of us have never just gone for it and taken the risk at the same time.  When one of us is ready to take the chance, the other is scared of getting hurt.  If you’ve read my last couple posts you would know that he is the one that is unsure right now.  Although I feel like he opens up to me and then realizes it and clams up again, I hope that we’re making some leeway.  The fact that he lives so far is what I think is the biggest problem, and we haven’t spoken on the phone in a VERY long time.  I have been trying to get him to come and visit me without pushing him too hard. ( That would probably be the most beneficial to us.  Physical contact and affection is always the most helpful in reassuring a person that you won’t hurt them)  He is not dumb, he knows that the minute we speak or see each other that he will soften up.   Part of him wants to, he’s lonely and wants the love and affection, but he also knows he’s alone where he is right now.  Us being “together” wouldn’t change the fact that he is physically alone.  But so am I,  I haven’t really made new friends in my new home (unless co workers count, but to me they are kinda just forced into being friendly).  I am extremely lonely here and as sappy or lame as this may sound, I have been waiting a really long time to try again with him.  Maybe I will get what I’ve been waiting for, but I don’t know how much longer I should wait.

Now that I’ve gotten that out, I have been debating taking the blog over as my personal blog and owning up to who I actually am.  I originally decided that it would be anonymous because a lot of my rants were about exes and if anyone I knew was gonna ask for advice, I didn’t want them knowing who it was.  Since I moved out of Miami and this blog didn’t take off as an advice blog or anything of that sort, I thought it would be more beneficial to me and maybe more enjoyable to readers if they read about my dramatic, exciting and at the moment frustrating life! At the same time, I would not mind giving advice to anyone that needs some advice from an unknown person, and I don’t mind taking advice from people who think I need it! (and lets be honest, with my current situation, I could use any advice that you want to give me.)

Changes are coming..

Hello readers and followers!

As you can see this is no longer Faye and Sariah! BUT do not worry a hair on that pretty little head of yours.  This is still owned and used by the same person!  Back when this blog was originally created it was to give advice and somewhat rant about our relationship problems, but after “Damon” and “Sariah” lost interest in the blog, I continued to write. (or at least tried to)  So here I am,  out in the open! My real name is Chelsea! I was “Faye”.  I do plan on continuing to rant and give advice if it is needed, but a lot will be about my trek through life dealing with the ups and downs of moving from a big city (Miami) to a small town (DeLand).  I will be editing all the information here today to acquaint you with who I really am.  I hope you keep reading and enjoying my blog 🙂

xo,

Chelsea Salem Elise

Take a leap of faith…

Today I will be making two posts, as this is something that I am currently struggling with.  I know my readers are wondering what is going on.  You’re probably saying “This was supposed to be a blog about advice on men, etc. ” Well when you are amidst your own relationship crisis, you may need to take advice from others.  That is what I did last night, I called up a longtime family friend.  (I am an only child, so she is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister) The man in my life has been in my life for over 3 years now.  He was recently spoken about in my “I love him” post.  If you’ve read that post, you’ll know that I do really love him. We’ve been separated for 2 years, and now he’s moved to California.  I’ve always been the one to take the leap of faith and risk getting hurt again, but he’s never sure enough.  Maybe he can’t follow his heart? Or maybe he’s scared of getting hurt himself?  I don’t really know, he won’t open up to me about it.  I want to be able to help him, to show him that things can be great again, but he never takes the chance.  So I talked to my “sister” last night.  I explained the scenario to her.  (She’s known him since we first began dating, he joined me for her wedding)  Her biggest piece of advice to me was to trust my heart.  My instincts would lead me the way I need to go.  I’ve always had a really good intuition, I knew that he was unsure about us before he even admitted it.  She told me that if I love him enough, he loves me enough, that we will find a way to be together no matter how long we have been apart.  Using her and her husband as an example, she told me at one point in their relationship when they were going through a rough patch, they had broken up for over a year then gotten back together.  A little while later they were engaged, then married, and now have kids.  She told me to trust the way I feel about him, my heart and my gut.  When you over think your feelings is when you will make the wrong decision, a decision that may ruin any chances for a future and one you may regret.  Her words really did help me with my view of things, but I still don’t know how to get him to take a leap of faith on us.  I don’t want to push him into it, I don’t want him to hate me for that.  I really am trying and I want to be the girl that makes him happy again.  (the girl i used to be)  He makes me so happy, he brightens my days and nights.  If I was having a bad day, he always came back with a positive outlook on things, he is so supportive of me.  I know that I love him more than I did 3 years ago, and I would do anything for him, but he won’t let me show him.  I don’t know what’s holding him back and I want to be able to assure him, but I don’t know how if he won’t let me through.

If anyone has been through a  similar situation and would like to sound off below or you just liked the post, etc I would love to hear from you!

xo,

Faye

Sensitive Guys

I don’t know what it is about sensitive guys… Women are constantly talking about how there’s no good guys out there anymore, they’re all assholes and treat girls like they’re disposable.  But what about the good guys that repeatedly get screwed over by women.  Personally, I avoid the overly sensitive types.  For example, my co worker (I’ve spoken about him before, this is John.  He was originally mentioned in my post called “Long time, no post”.)  went on a coffee/tea run this morning.  He went around and took everyone’s order.  I ordered a large sweet tea (if you have not gotten a large sweet tea from Dunkin Donuts for 99 cents you are missing out!!).  I gave him a dollar for my order and he left.  A little bit of background on what he’s been going through the past couple days.  Apparently, his girlfriend (I always knew she was crazy) broke up with him.  She got back on drugs and lied about it.  She is unhappy and wants to leave.  When he asked what it was he did she said it was nothing, he was perfect.  She then went and talked to John’s friends girlfriend about where he went wrong in the relationship.  Instead of telling him what was wrong, she gossiped and he found out from someone else.  Anyway, he comes back from getting drinks for everyone and gives me my tea, then puts my dollar back on my desk.  I asked him why he gave me my dollar back and he kept walking.  I’m the kind of person that only allows guys to pay for me if they are dating me, otherwise I am very capable of paying for myself. ( I mean really, its a dollar!)  I picked up the dollar and walked after him and made sure he took it.  Afterwards, he walks over and says that I am mean without realizing it.  John is a sensitive guy, I did not know that not accepting the 99 cent tea would offend him.  I was talking to my mother (yes I ask her for advice on how to handle these situations A LOT) and she thinks he was looking for a something to comfort him, and doing something nice for someone else is comforting for him.  After giving me advice, she dissed me.  How motherly of her!  She told me that I didn’t accept his paying for my beverage because “You’re just afraid of compromising your frail independence.”  I took offense and told her so, and she responded with ” If it weren’t frail then you wouldn’t need to guard it so closely. Its better than being a helpless ninny.” She’s great at giving advice, comforting? Not so much.  Now I’m not sure how to smooth things over with John, and I’m not so sure he would accept an apology.  I don’t know how I manage to upset people without realizing it, or even trying.  I was brought up to be independent, I don’t need a southern gentleman to pay for me.  I believe in chivalry ( it is NOT dead!) but there is a right place and right time for it.

If you’ve had a similar experience or have any comments, questions, suggestions or just liked this post, sound off down below!! I love knowing that my awkward encounters gave my readers/followers a chuckle, or made them feel like they aren’t alone! 🙂

xo,

Faye

I love him…

I’m using this blog again to post my thoughts and my inner musings.  I’ve been talking a lot to this guy, someone who I ended a year long relationship with over 2 years ago.  I never stopped loving him, although I’ve dated many people after him.  We have been talking about moving forward again and having a relationship, but he now lives in California.  Although I have no problem with a long distance relationship, (I do trust him a lot) it makes me nervous.  I can’t tell why I’m nervous exactly.  When I think of him, or my phone rings and its him, I still get butterflies.  We spoke about a week or so ago and I asked him some questions about us.  I asked how long he’s loved me.  I couldn’t have been happier when he told me he’s loved me for 3 years.  Many other answered questions made me realize that we feel the same way about each other.  Like any other couple, we fought.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but every couple fights.  It is bound to happen.  But when you’ve found that person that you can fight with and be so angry with, but then turn around and kiss them and tell them you love them, to me, that is true love.  A person that you know every single trait they have that annoys you, but be able to look past it because you know that’s a quirk they have, and you deep down love them for it.  I support him in everything he does and he does the same for me.  I even think that when I am financially able, I would move to California.  (hes out there to further his career, I fully support that endeavor)  This whole situation makes me nervous, he really broke me to pieces when we ended things originally.  I don’t think I could take that again if we got back together and it didn’t work out, but I think I would risk the pain to see if it really can work out.  I was talking to my best friend a couple days ago about this situation, and I told her about him loving me.  I told her that I never actually thought that he stopped loving me, that deep down I knew that he always had, but that when he told me it really made me warm inside and out.  I then told her that if he had ever told me that he did not love me anymore, I might die.  Even though that’s dramatic and I wouldn’t really die, it would feel that way.  He is someone that I could truly see myself with.  I don’t even want kids, but if he did, I probably would.  I know this all seems like a lot, but it’s how I feel.  Even though we haven’t started our relationship again, and I’m not sure if it would work out, I can’t deny how I feel for him and what I would do for him.  I think I met the love of my life when I was 17.  If any readers have advice for me, agree with me, etc, please leave it in the comments!
xo,
Faye

Have Some Self Respect!

Hello my lovely readers and followers!

I am writing this at work, (which is probably a big no-no) BUT  I heard something this morning that made my stomach turn.  Usually when you work for a rather large and successful company, you go through a rather long, thorough and boring training.  Those trainings usually include beating their policies into your brain, yet some people choose to ignore them. (or maybe their thick skulls did not absorb them) The most prevalent of policies that is not followed; sexual harassment.   There is an abundance of sexual harassment/tension in most work places.  Today it was open, awkward and sickening for the people not involved.  Everyone remembers Joe from my last post? (he is a manager)  Well, this involves him and a female coworker of mine, we will call her Sally.  Sally is nosy, annoying, a pathological liar, and she over shares.  Joe has a short fuse and is a Navy Vet.  Sally came in this morning raring to annoy, she did the job.  All employees were called in for a meeting; unfortunately, I was one of the last to make it out of the office doors afterwards  and heard this conversation.

Joe:  Sally, one day you will hit my last nerve and I will come in here and shoot everyone.  It will be your fault. Can you live with that?

Sally:  Oh, don’t worry.  Ill just strip down in front of you and let you f#*! me in the ass.

One of my male coworkers that was just as unfortunate as me to be stuck in the room said;

Male Coworker : Yea, and if he does it he will shoot himself in the head because of it.

After making my way out of the office I needed some sort of medicine for my stomach, I felt my whole breakfast ready to come up.
About 15 minutes after this scene plays out before us, she gets a customer, she approaches that same male coworker and tells him: “I love lay downs.”

Even though we knew she was talking about the deal she had in the works with her customer, she walked out the door and we made a joke about it.  As she walked back inside my male coworker says: “Yes, lay downs…Bend overs…”

She immediately giggled and made a bending over gesture.  This is not the first time situations like this have occurred with her.  Today it was especially bothersome.  I really do not understand why women have such little self respect for themselves in a workplace of mostly males.  Do they crave attention so much that they would rather be crude and unladylike?

She believes that being one of the only females amongst the men makes her wanted, but she does not see that she is an EASY target.  She is EASY to sexually harass, she is EASY to make crude comments to and about, and she is EASY to get with.  They do not want her because she is appealing to them, they don’t want her in any way.  They want what she gives away freely.  If I could give her any piece of advice; have some self respect!

A woman who has respect for herself, demands respect from others.

xo,

Faye

 

Long Time, No Post.

It has been a while since I have posted.  Unfortunately, I haven’t had much to post about.  My love life has had no action since I moved.  Before you pity me or ask me where I moved that I have met not one decent man I would be interested in, I have met two.  Unfortunately, both work with me, are about 10 years my senior (not that it really matters nowadays), and are in relationships.  Being new to such a small town makes it more difficult to adapt.  I went to the hair salon about 3 weeks ago, and my hairstylist was one of the coolest chicks I’ve met here.  I’m sure every girl knows what I’m talking about when I say “awkward salon talk”.  It was nothing like that, a salon romance, if you may.  She immediately picked up that I was not from around here and asked where I was from.  She was originally from Ft. Lauderdale, and with me being from Miami, we reminisced about the traffic and rude residents of South Florida.  Trust me, you think you won’t miss those things, but when you are driving behind a parade of nursing home patients, you want to defensively drive and give ’em the middle finger for driving at 30mph in a 60mph zone!  Not only does my driving habits stick out here, but so do my clothing choices, haircuts and overall demeanor.  My hairstylist (Toni) has been here for about 10 years.  She told me how hard it was to connect with people when she originally moved here.  Most of the residents have lived here since they were children and went to school together.  This town has had its same cliques since before high-school.  It is difficult to make your way into a clique or even find a clique that you get along with, but once you do, everything gets more bearable. After I left the salon with my fresh new do, I also have a fresh new perspective on this small town.  As I make my round about to what I was speaking of in the beginning of this post, 2 men at my job.  While these two men are rather close friends, they both have bouts of flirtation.  I have met both of their girlfriends,   the older of the two men (we will call him Joe) has a gorgeous girlfriend, she is also extremely sweet, but can be rather clingy.  I can see that trait just from her visits to him at work about twice a day, bringing him lunch or any other excuse she can make.  One thing that bothers me about Joe is that he chews… I was immediately turned off by that discovery and could not believe that his girlfriend would put up with that, until I found out she has some of her own skeletons in her closet. (Alcoholic)  On to the next one, the younger of the 2 men.  (We will call him John)  We had been friends before he started dating this girl.  He met her online, which was what scared me at first.  He had told me about a couple of their dates and how their relationship was progressing.  All of her actions screamed crazy to me, but I decided not to give my input.  Some weeks after that he told me he believed she was cheating on him with her ex.  The broke up a little while after that, messy break up.  A week later, they got back together……….. I do not trust her.  John is too nice of a guy to see him get screwed over.  This is something that had been bothering me, so I decided to let people know.  I vented to the public, and thank you for following and reading these posts!!

xo,

Faye

Taboo Relationships

Taboo relationships. Either you’ve been in one or you know someone who has.  A relationship  with a boss, co worker, doctor, student/teacher, or a friends ex.  Those can all be considered taboo.   Should taboo relationships be all together avoided, or could they have a positive outcome in the long run? Everyone will have a different answer for you.  You learn something new from every relationship you have and at one point find the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with.

What if it just so happens you meet the love of your life at work.  They just so happen to be your new boss, so that relationship would be considered taboo.  Unfortunately, if you hadn’t gotten this job and met your new boss, you never would’ve met the person you are meant to spend your life with.  Now on the bright side of that situation, one of the two in the relationship have the option of finding another job.  Boss/co-worker taboo? Solved.

What about a student/teacher relationship?  A high school student with their teacher can be illegal, so I’d rather not cover illegal topics.  But when it comes to college students and their professors.. I understand where the situation can get sticky.  There is always class transfer options or waiting until a teacher/student relationship is no longer a problem.  A professor can be fired for having relations with a student, but over all this should be avoided for the off chance that the relationship get discovered.  Someone always gets hurt.

Dating your doctor, especially if they are your psychiatrist or psychologist, should be avoided in total.  Those relationships should be treated like the plague, due to the chance that you can be easily taken advantage of.  A doctor has very personal information about  you, information that you may not want a person you are romantically involved with to have.  On another note, remember it is easier to develop feelings for a person that you feel “understands” what you’re going through or what you’re feeling.  That is their job, they are supposed to make you feel better.

Lastly, a friends ex.  When it comes to your friends ex, it should be avoided at all costs.  That is always an awkward situation to deal with between friends.  I am not talking about that ex they dated in middle school or the one they dated for a month or so.  We’re talking about the ex you’re friends will always feel something for.  Every person has that ex, or those few exes that they will always care for or could just never be okay with anyone in their circle of friends dating.  Never ruin a friendship for a guy or girl that may not even be around very long.  That is not saying that if you have a gut feeling, that feeling that this person is the one… not to go for it.  You can find love in the most unlikely places.

Love is a feeling that we all strive for, one that you cannot emulate.  You either feel the real thing or you don’t.

xo,

Faye