I’m using this blog again to post my thoughts and my inner musings. I’ve been talking a lot to this guy, someone who I ended a year long relationship with over 2 years ago. I never stopped loving him, although I’ve dated many people after him. We have been talking about moving forward again and having a relationship, but he now lives in California. Although I have no problem with a long distance relationship, (I do trust him a lot) it makes me nervous. I can’t tell why I’m nervous exactly. When I think of him, or my phone rings and its him, I still get butterflies. We spoke about a week or so ago and I asked him some questions about us. I asked how long he’s loved me. I couldn’t have been happier when he told me he’s loved me for 3 years. Many other answered questions made me realize that we feel the same way about each other. Like any other couple, we fought. Correct me if I’m wrong, but every couple fights. It is bound to happen. But when you’ve found that person that you can fight with and be so angry with, but then turn around and kiss them and tell them you love them, to me, that is true love. A person that you know every single trait they have that annoys you, but be able to look past it because you know that’s a quirk they have, and you deep down love them for it. I support him in everything he does and he does the same for me. I even think that when I am financially able, I would move to California. (hes out there to further his career, I fully support that endeavor) This whole situation makes me nervous, he really broke me to pieces when we ended things originally. I don’t think I could take that again if we got back together and it didn’t work out, but I think I would risk the pain to see if it really can work out. I was talking to my best friend a couple days ago about this situation, and I told her about him loving me. I told her that I never actually thought that he stopped loving me, that deep down I knew that he always had, but that when he told me it really made me warm inside and out. I then told her that if he had ever told me that he did not love me anymore, I might die. Even though that’s dramatic and I wouldn’t really die, it would feel that way. He is someone that I could truly see myself with. I don’t even want kids, but if he did, I probably would. I know this all seems like a lot, but it’s how I feel. Even though we haven’t started our relationship again, and I’m not sure if it would work out, I can’t deny how I feel for him and what I would do for him. I think I met the love of my life when I was 17. If any readers have advice for me, agree with me, etc, please leave it in the comments!
xo,
Faye
Chelsea Salem Elise 